I hate boundaries.

I understand the concept of boundaries and I even recognize their utility. But the word, in its association with ministry and relationships, etc just drives me mad. I hate the word boundaries. Yes, it has everything to do with my experience at LSTC and thus is a dark and pejorative word in my vocabulary.

Last week's gospel message was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself. I had a discussion with a friend around this, regarding whether this means God calls us to a simple, deeper morality or into some completely different reality. I posited that it wasn't either/or but both, and that it is a deep morality, completely different from what we typically experience which at its heart is as simple as what the passage commands. Often it is difficult to do because we complicate it through our own humanity; we think too hard, we rationalize, we obfuscate, we deflect; to avoid the intensity and uncomfortable choices, we make things shallow.

And though there are times when designating specific boundaries and parameters is necessary, often they obfuscate what should be much more simple. I ran into the blurring and defining of boundaries this morning once again. Several hours later, I'm still agitated about the encounter. Agitated with myself, agitated with my friend, agitated with the whole damn mess. I wouldn't even be sitting here in class if we didn't have a midterm on Thursday. Life is too layered with shades of gray sometimes for the clear and distinct boundaries we try to wrap everything in. These wee little boxes into which we try to shove everybody, the assumptions about context and needs and wants we project onto others.

Gnarr! That's what I say, gnarr!